To The Girl I Loved Dearly

So I loved you. There’s no harm in that, right? And infact, I still blimming well do. But there’s this saying that you don’t always get what you want and that’s exactly what has just happened. I had hopes, big bloody hopes that you might one day feel the same way like I do. I never actually gave it a thought as to what you might feel about me, I just went about feeling deep love for you. And yes, as the days went by, it grew more and more. You were the one that kept crossing my mind almost every single minute, for reasons I honestly do not know. Whenever you kept complaining about how awful your life is, I tried my best to comfort you and make you feel wanted. That’s because you really do mean a lot to me and you still do and will always do.

There have been days when I’ve literally cried myself to sleep, worrying about you and hoping that someday I will indeed get to meet you. Also, I promised myself to never ever leave you even if you ever break my heart. And I won’t blame you for what just unfolded because this is no fault of yours. Sometimes you cannot change reality and you have to live with it. Yes, I have been distraught and broken, but even if I wanted to change reality, I cannot. I just have to live with the fact that you will never be mine, and this hurts me to the core.

People say long distance never works, and I bloody well believe so. But still I tried chasing after you because I know all relationships are never the same. So I believed. And believed. And after few months of our strong friendship, I heard the shattering news. Although a small part of me is happy that we are still good friends, but I am still heartbroken. I thought I found love, but it was just one sided. Broken, yes. But hopefully time will heal everything.

There are days when I have this impossible thought that you will change and maybe just maybe we could be together but that’s all in my mind. The reality is, you are not walking back. You’ve flipped the page over. It hurts, because I have started to believe there’s no one like you. Literally, I had pictured you by my side forever. Maybe I had high expecatations and this is the reason why it all came crashing down with a blink of an eye.

People find their true love after several attempts, and I thought I would be lucky enough to find it on my first attempt. Now that’s not going to be. I would try again, but to be honest, there is none like you. There will never be a second you. I am done. Yes, I give up. I give up on love. I am sorry, but that’s the truth.

All I hope for now is that your life is filled with good health and happiness. That’s what I have always hope for you. Take care.

I loved you, and will always do.

Ciao.

  1. Claire says:

    Oh Ron, this is both beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you so much for opening up so honestly, very brave of you. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out x

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